窦亮 发表于 2017-1-31 14:55:52

做人难难做人 星云巨匠 开示做人的妙诀

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“做人难,人难做,难做人”,这是经常听到一般人慨叹的话。事实上,做人确切很难!你有学问,他批驳你不会干事;你会干事,他说你没有特长;你有特长,他又嫌你不是通才。
你对他没有礼貌,他还给你神色;你对他阿谀,他以为你是有求于他。你贫穷,他怕你对他有所求;你富有,他猜忌你要以金钱买动他。你是农工,他说你卑贱;你是士绅,他也会嫌你与他成分分歧。总之,如许做,那样做,都不轻易获得对方的好感。
把人做好,这是平生的学问,有的人平生学不到做人的千百分之一二,走到那边都是被人嫌弃,最后带着遗憾分开人世,何其惋惜。以下供给做人的四个妙诀,不妨实践看看,也许能转变别人对你的不雅感,而获得友情。
一、你对我错
日常平凡一般人总以为“我是对的,你们都不合错误”。实在,假如能反其道而行,本身认错,别人都对,反而轻易获得对方的认同。举例说,有一天,张师长教师问李师长教师:“为什么你们家不时布满欢喜,我们家却天天像个疆场?”李师长教师答复说:“由于你们家都是大好人,我们家都是坏人。”张师长教师不解其意,问道:“此话怎讲?”李师长教师说:“你们家假如有人打破了茶杯,顿时就有人说:‘怎么那么不警惕,把茶杯打破了?’那一小我就回嘴说:‘谁叫你把茶杯放在这边呢?’两小我都以为本身是对的,所以就吵起架来。我们家的人呢?有人把茶杯打破了,就说:‘对不起,我把茶杯摔坏了。’另一个就说:‘这不克不及怪你,只怪我不该该把茶杯放在那儿。’由于大师争相认错,当然就***无争了。”是以,认错轻易打消敌对;自认为是,胶葛不竭。
二、你年夜我小
做人要靠德看、名誉来受人尊重,假如自以为年夜,世人不服。如同五指争年夜,个个都有特色;然而小拇指固然最小,可是当五指合掌,是他最接近长辈、圣贤。所以人和人相处,尊敬他、夸奖他,就算是辈分、职位比拟低的人,也不成以小看他、鄙弃他。释教里的常不轻菩萨,对糟践他的人都说:“我不敢鄙弃汝等,汝等皆看成佛。”假如人人都能存有此心,世界还会有什么纷争呢?
三、你有我无
一般人的陋习,都盼望本身拥有,别人有无不是主要。可是别人没有,只有你有,他会放不下你;假如让别人先有,本身没有,反而获得更多的同情,甚至比拥有的人获得更多。有,不要太争、太计较,有权有势、著名有位,有是有穷有尽、有限有量;无权无势、无名无位,无是无限无尽、无量无边。所以,概况上看起来,有比拟令人爱慕,无会给人鄙弃。现实上,世间上的太阳、月亮,他们连一间屋子都没有,但可以恒常不变;千大哥松在摇摇欲坠中,矗立在山崖上,可以活上几千年。黄金为人所争,因其可贵,所以粉身碎骨;石头价值不是很高,他能坚持年夜、坚持重,何其快哉!
四、你苦我乐
每一小我都盼望快活,不要苦楚。可是我快活,他苦楚,他会放过我吗?假如灵通情面的人,让他快活;他快活了,就不管帐较我的快活。一般在高位的人享受快活,轻易被人颠覆,甚至***;假如你能把快活给人,看起来是吃亏,现实上是占廉价。例如,你不肯意扫地,你歇息,我来扫;碗筷很脏,你不肯意收拾,我来收拾。一些举手之劳、之苦,何须计较?世界之年夜,能经得起磨难考验的人,都能与松柏常青;反之,安适一时,图快短期,轻易被时期、情面所裁减。
是以,以上做人的妙诀,或许还不敷道其妙,可是能有此不雅念,也够平生受用的了。
http://img1.cache.netease.com/f2e/foxue/index2014/images/f.png 作者:上海年夜觉文化

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